please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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