I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize