I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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