He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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