i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
