I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
