Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
