Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
