all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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