Already got asked if we're dating
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
