The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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