i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize