If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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