This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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