I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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