He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
