it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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