I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
