Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pooping to opera.
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