WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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