I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
