I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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