Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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