what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
