No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
