If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
