the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
