is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize