I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
