Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
