you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
