My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
