He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
