i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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