i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
