she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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