He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
