I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
