how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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