well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
