dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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