omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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