these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
