She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
