And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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