R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I will pee on everything he values.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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