She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
