I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
