pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
