PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
