what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
