you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
