By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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