i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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