she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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