didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
But break dance skills will only take you so far
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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