Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize