we're blogging at a bar
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
