Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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