Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
